Want to get pregnant? How to know the perfect timing for conception

Did you know that up to 40% of couples who are trying to conceive are timing sex WRONG?

Are you:

• Thinking about trying to conceive in the next year and wondering how to make sure you tackle any hurdles BEFORE you really REALLY want a baby?

• Actively trying to conceive and want to make sure you are timing everything just right to increase the odds of getting pregnant?

• Struggling to conceive after 6 months of trying when you thought you’d get pregnant right away like your BFF?

• Starting to consider fertility treatments after a year of trying to conceive with no positive pregnancy test, but want to make sure you have really covered all your bases first?

If any of the above scenarios sound a lot like your current situation trying to get pregnant, I want you to know you are thinking about allll the right things - but I also know that it can be super confusing, frustrating, and honestly- heartwrenching.
This is because, as women, we weren’t taught much about our bodies, and definitely not much about our fertility. If anything, we were taught to avoid pregnancy at all costs - and it was implied that we could get pregnant ANY day of our cycle. Many of us got on hormonal birth control at a young age for various things like acne or painful periods, and never learned how to identify what a normal menstrual cycle and ovulation pattern looked like. If you can relate, it’s TOTALLY not your fault - and the good news is, it’s not too late to get armed with all the knowledge you need to conceive like a champ AND advocate for yourself in the medical space if any additional assistance is needed to get pregnant.

So how can we optimize your chances?

It’s simple, and it’s complicated. You need to time sex to hit your fertile window. I know that sounds obvious, but did you read the stat above?

Timing intercourse outside of the most fertile days is a primary cause of having difficulty conceiving.

Listen to these facts: In one study of women seeking care at an assistive reproductive technology clinic, 83% of whom had been trying to conceive for at least one year, researchers found that 68% of these women believed they were timing intercourse in their fertile window, yet only about 12% of them were able to accurately identify their fertile window. Only 12 percent!

Some studies even go so far as to say that poor timing of intercourse is a leading cause of “infertility”- to me this seems silly, because this cause of “infertility” has nothing to do with a medical cause, rather a practical cause - an educational one. But this is actually good news, if you aren’t conceiving, it’s very likely that optimizing the timing of intercourse could be a game-changer for you.

This was the case for a client of mine, Katherine,* who had been trying to conceive for over two years. While we also worked on other pieces of her fertility strategy, including overcoming emotional and physical barriers to sex, nourishing her body with food and gentle movement, and calming her nervous system, one of the biggest pieces of the puzzle for her was that she was not timing her attempts to conceive within the most optimal, fertile days of her cycle.

Because it had been over two years of trying, Katherine was considering pursuing next steps toward fertility treatments. But guess what? Once she learned to identify her fertile window, she got pregnant within a few months!

What about using LH strips or my period app to predict my fertile window?

I get it - in some ways, it can be much more simple to just pee on a strip until you have a positive, and then try for pregnancy. And this DOES work for SOME people. However, while LH strips can help guide you to the best time to conceive, there are several reasons why using this as a primary strategy isn’t a good idea if you really want to increase your chances of getting pregnant. (I wrote about this in my blog post about tracking Basal Body Temperature, which you can check out here) Namely, your fertile window is 5-6 days long, but your LH will not surge until about 24-48 hours prior to ovulation, so by the time that ClearBlue test comes up positive, you might have missed 3-4 days that you are potentially fertile! 

This is why I don’t recommend using ClearBlue tests or LH strips as a PRIMARY form of learning when you are ovulating.

As for period apps… these are great for tracking your cycles and even your fertility signs, but they only make predictions based on your cycle length history, and count back 14 days from that number to tell you the supposed day of ovulation. While it is true that you usually will get your period AROUND two weeks after ovulating, it can range from 11-16 days.

Furthermore, studies have shown that even in women with regular cycles, the timing of the fertile window can vary from cycle to cycle and between individuals who have the same cycle length. AKA, if your bestie has a 32 day cycle and you do too, it’s possible that she ovulates on day 18 and you ovulate on day 20.

It’s also very important to know how to tell when YOU are ovulating to save unnecessary stress about when your period should come - if you ovulate later in your cycle than usual, your period will come later, but you don’t want to mistake that for pregnancy - this is a heartwrenching enough process as it is!

If you want to get pregnant, don’t you want to be SURE when you are approaching ovulation so you don’t miss any chances? 

Even in the “perfect” conditions, the chances of getting pregnant are anywhere from 20-33%. 

How long is the fertile window?

Your fertile window is 5-6 days long, which includes the 5 days leading up to your day of ovulation and the actual day of ovulation. That means there are potentially 6 days every cycle in which you could possibly get pregnant.

But hold up… that doesn’t mean that you have the SAME likelihood of getting pregnant each of those days.

How likely is it to get pregnant 5 days before I ovulate?

While people do get pregnant 5 days before ovulation, this is the first day of your fertile window with the lowest chances of conceiving at about 10%.

Each day, your chances of conceiving improve by about 5-10 percent for a maximum of 25-30%.

What days am I most likely to get pregnant?

You are most likely to conceive in the one-two days leading up to ovulation and the day of ovulation. That means on those three days, you better get busy making a baby!

However, the reality is, at BEST, you are 25-30% likely to get pregnant on those 3 days (1-3 days prior to and including ovulation). That’s why even if you are identifying your fertile window correctly, and have no other medical conditions or problems that might make you struggle with fertility (like endometriosis, for example), you only have a 1 in 3 or one in 4 chance of getting pregnant on a given cycle.

While this might seem like bad news, it’s actually good news for you if you’ve been trying to conceive for some time- I see you starting to worry that you are going to need fertility treatments. (It’s totally ok if those are necessary, but we certainly want to cover our bases first before embarking on super expensive and stressful treatments if they aren’t actually necessary).

If you haven’t truly identified your MOST fertile days AND making the most of the opportunities to conceive on those days, you might be one cycle away from getting that positive test as soon as you learn EXACTLY how to tell when you are ovulating.

So, to have the BEST chances of conceiving, let’s make sure you know how to tell when you are fertile: 

1) Track your cervical mucus - that yummy stuff in your undies is your body’s secret…sauce 👀 to cue you that it’s time to make a baby! When you are most fertile, it will become a thick, clear, egg-white quality. 

2) check the position of your cervix. When you are moving toward ovulation , it will be “higher” or deeper in your body, soft, and open. 

3) pay attention to your energy and libido- you are typically more focused and energized in the week leading up to ovulation. And, that increase in sex drive is your body’s natural way of saying “PLEASE get me pregnant!”

And yes, you can most certainly confirm all this information with other methods like Clearblue (LH) tests (just remember to start trying as soon as you see that goopy egg white cervical mucus!

For more guidance on tracking Cervical mucus and Basal Body Temperature (to confirm ovulation), I wrote TWO whole blog posts dedicated to tracking your fertility signs - how to both predict AND confirm that you ovulated- make sure to check those out too!

After tracking for a few months, you will get a better sense of what day you usually ovulate every cycle, but for now, plan to have intercourse when you see any combination of the above.

To recap:

1️⃣You can get pregnant 6 days of your cycle- 5 days leading up to ovulation and the day ovulation occurs

2️⃣you are most likely (25-30%) to get pregnant if you have sex the day of ovulation and the two days leading up to it 

3️⃣an egg is viable only for about 12-24 hours, so if you have sex after you ovulate, it’s probably too late this cycle

4️⃣even if you have regular cycles, the day you ovulate may vary slightly and it is NOT simply “halfway” through your cycle. If you and your bff both have 32 day cycles, you might ovulate on day 20 and she might ovulate day 18. It can vary!

What if I have been trying to track your cycles for months and I still am not getting pregnant?

If you have been trying to conceive for a while, maybe you’re feeling like your journey to motherhood hasn’t been what you had hoped- you thought as soon as you and your husband were “ready,” you’d just stop preventing pregnancy and see a positive test within a few months. 

But now what has been a few months feels like years, and you’re concerned that you won’t get to be a mother in the way you envisioned.

My friend, oof! I know how hard that is, and I have been there myself. I have worked with tons of women just like you in my fertility and preconception program to identify barriers to conception, improve overall health, and make sure you are timing sex for the best chances of conceiving. If you need more support, I am here to help. please reach out! This is a hard journey, and you aren’t meant to do it alone.